CONFLICT OF EMOTIONS (PART3)

WHAT LESSON DO I NEED TO LEARN FROM SINGLEHOOD BEFORE MOVING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?

It’s been a while I picked up a pen to write anything. I really don’t like it but I can’t help it because I get distracted a lot, due to some circumstances beyond my control. I miss writing though and am sure all my readers missed reading my post as well. I wish I was in a better frame of mind right now but really I’m not going to use that as an excuse for not writing.

The strange thing is, I didn’t plan to write today at all and I wonder why I had to pick this kind of odd time to do this.

My last two articles were about CONFLICT OF EMOTIONS. From the write-ups, I came up with different steps of singlehood and this happens to be the final part - WHAT LESSONS DO I NEED TO LEARN FROM SINGLEHOOD BEFORE MOVING TO THE NEXT LEVEL? If you haven’t read the other two articles, please do so because it will give you a clearer understanding of what I’m really talking about here. I found myself in these different stages without realising it and I’m sure most of the single peeps out there find themselves in these stages as well without being aware of it.

If you are single, take out time to ask yourself these three questions: Why am I single? What purpose am I to achieve from singlehood? What lesson do I need to learn from singlehood before moving to the next level? You really need to ask yourself these three important questions. They might seem irrelevant but the truth is, if you don’t ask these questions, you probably might be stuck in singlehood for a long while or you might end up in a relationship for the wrong reasons or keep having issues in your relationship. If you don’t know how to go about answering these questions and you really want to, check out my previous articles, they will help you a great deal.

Now I want to talk about the lessons I learnt from singlehood. I’m sure you can relate to this, but please understand that personalities and experiences differ from person to person.

·         Lesson 1: I realised I do get scared easily and can’t therefore put myself out there fully, this is because I admitted to myself that I am emotionally weak and don’t want anyone to take advantage of that. I have this saying I tell people, “The weakest always put up the strongest defense.” It is very true. If you admit to yourself that you are weak emotionally then you have passed a stage, then you can learn to put up a strong defense around your emotions but always remember that the reason you put up that strong defense is because you’re weak and not to push people away because sometimes most people get it twisted.  

·         Lesson 2: I’ve learnt not to mistake people’s nice attitude and kindness for green light or that they are interested in me. Most single guys/babes make this mistake and that’s because the two seem alike but trust me they are totally different. I’ll use myself as an example: I’m the type that smiles always even when I’m not in the best of moods. I also like making great impressions so subconsciously I often find myself doing nice things and really making the other person happy, with no strings attached but the problem is that most guys see that as flirting and that’s kind of shocking because I’m like ‘Cant I be nice anymore or give a warm big smile?’ Most of them have that silly impression maybe because I’m single and so they automatically feel I’m available. So now I’ve learnt to keep my cool and be cautious so it doesn’t seem like I’m leading you on or that I have special interest in you. By the way, don’t kiss a guy/babe and still say you are not interested, it so wrong to give false hopes just because you’re messed up emotionally.

·         Lesson 3: I realised that spending a lot of time alone with yourself gives you so much leverage and room to know yourself well. It makes you realise what you are capable of doing and understand the kind of person you are. I’m sure you think you know yourself well enough but trust me you don’t. This is because you sometimes do things or find yourself in situations you couldn’t have previously imagined. Therefore, spend some quality time with yourself because you won’t have that opportunity when you are no longer single and by that time you would want it back but it would be too late. So now is the time, make use of it for as long as you can, once it’s gone, it’s gone…

Finally, learn to take BABY STEPS, which simply means learn to crawl before standing and learn to grip things around you before taking that first step to walk. All I’m trying to say is that, you have been out of the game for awhile now so see yourself as a newborn learning the act of walking, take your time and don’t let anyone pressurise you into opting out of singlehood, because no matter how many times a baby falls while trying to walk you don’t see the mother pressurising, instead she prays and keeps encouraging the kid, which boils down to the fact that whoever loves you will always be around to pick you up when you fall and won’t force you into something you are not sure you want.